POTTHOFF: Exploring domestic abuse through Lincoln’s Friendship Home

Editor’s note: Brady Potthoff, a Daily Nebraskan employee, has been an intern at the Friendship Home since June.

When I started my internship this summer at Friendship Home, Lincoln’s only specialized domestic violence shelter, I thought I understood the effects of domestic violence

When I started my internship this summer at Friendship Home, Lincoln’s only specialized domestic violence shelter, I thought I understood the effects of domestic violence.

I knew abuse took many forms including physical, sexual, emotional and mental. I know the cliché phrases like “love doesn’t hurt,” and I know it is estimated that one in four women in Lancaster County and across the country will experience abuse from an intimate partner.

I thought I knew a lot, but when I saw the victims — women and children from every race, ethnicity and social economic status — I understood how little I knew.

I don’t understand the horror of knowing my partner will be home at any moment and, depending on his mood, might beat me. I can’t imagine cleaning blood from my face because I didn’t answer one of his commands, the echoes of threats in the background. I don’t understand the bravery it takes to flee everything I know, uncertain of what the future will hold.

These women are extraordinary. I consider myself lucky to listen to their stories and experience a little of their courage.

But their hardships do not end once they leave their abuser.

Sadly, there is an increasing need for domestic violence shelters. Many shelters, like Friendship Home, are full 365 days a year.

Friendship Home serves an average of 69 women and children every day, and another 35 are assisted with alternate shelter options, case management and advocacy.

Whether in shelter or waiting for shelter, battered women are supported by the dedicated advocates at Friendship Home.

Because so many refuse to tolerate domestic violence and embrace a woman’s decision to seek safety and start over, Friendship Home served 1,398 women and children last year. The problem is there are more who need service, and Friendship Home is up for the challenge if they have your support.

On Oct. 11, anyone can help support Friendship Home.

During Safe Quarters, Friendship Home’s largest annual fundraiser, about 1,700 volunteers will go door-to-door collecting funds to support the women and children of Friendship Home. Last year, the event collected more than $85,000.

While Safe Quarters represents a significant portion of Friendship Home’s annual budget, its true value is the awareness it brings to the public about the devastating impact domestic violence has on families and the quality of life in Lincoln and Lancaster County.

For those who cannot volunteer at Safe Quarters, I urge volunteering time at Friendship Home or making a donation when a volunteer knocks on your door. 

I ask everyone to talk openly and honestly with friends and family about healthy relationships. Discuss warning signs of abuse, and discuss how no one deserves to be hurt.

These small steps can make a huge impact on our community and hopefully end the need for domestic violence shelters.

To learn more about Safe Quarters and how you can help, visit Friendship Home’s Facebook page (Friendship Home of Lincoln) and click on the Safe Quarters event. Also, contact Tracy Hofmann, development coordinator, at (402) 424-0167 or e-mail her at tracyh@friendshiphome.org.